Tuesday, September 3, 2013

I need a disciplinarian again

I've been noticing lately (the last few months), that I have been more out of control and bratty and pushing away from the local community so that I don't mess up the connections to play partners that I have to give me fun spankings, needle play, fire cupping, etc...

However that being said it just makes me brat the spanko's more that I have been talking to since my teens and early twenty's and yet the only ones that are spanko's that I brat are Spankers/Tops/Dom's in other states that can't travel to give me the attention that I need and crave in my everyday life and that is very frustrating for me and I'm sure them sometimes lately because my bratting and attention seeking has gone over board to disrespecting them :(

I haven't had a disciplinaran since I have been with my boyfriend/Daddy, because I can't find a Spanker that can take me where I need to be when it comes to discipline and that frustrates me because I know what works for disciplining me.

I already hear those in the BDSM community saying "if your bratting then you don't need a spanking because that is just a reward for you."

It isn't a reward, it is a punishment if used in the right manner. There are techniques to make spanko's that are into spanking dislike it when it is used as discipline and it takes a certain person to get me to that space, but yet I can't find it again and it is frustrating me and making me just avoid spankings altogether right now and even other play that I like because I can't get in the right head space to have a fun spanking or other playtime I like and it is frustrating me so much.

Why is it not easy to find another disciplinarian??? I mean I tell those around me what I am looking for in one and they say, "Your topping from the bottom" or "It isn't your choice it is the Tops choice."


It is my choice and not just the Tops choice if I know what works from me from having experience with a disciplinarian that got me to behave.

In case your wondering what I'm looking for and needing when it comes to discipline it is someone that knows how to deal with the following behaviors that I need to work on:

~ Swearing (when in little space and not in my Big space)
~ Throwing tantrums
~ Not doing chores
~ Procrastinating

Punishments that work for me are:

~ Grounding
~ Corner time
~ Writing lines
~ Mouth soaping
~ Spanking

It shouldn't have to be added, but when in a discipline session the scolding helps and making sure I'm not in a Big head space (adult) because my Big likes spanking, but yet if you get me into a little head space (child aka little) then a discipline session will work like it is supposed to for me.

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